Gotta be the Shoes
There is so much to keep track of in CrossFit. Elbows up, back straight, knees past parallel, open the hips. Can't I just "lift things up and put them down." Then there are the WODs. I love the ones named after fallen soldiers and the hero WODs that last 54 minutes, but the ones named after random women that the founder of CF probably had a crush on during his lifetime are a nightmare. There's Fran, Karen, Grace. And my personal favorite, FGB, which sounds like a beer but stands for Fight Gone Bad.
That's just the start. There are so many accessories that you have to keep track of. Heavens forbid I forget the lady fingers (gymnastics grips) when I am doing pull ups. Then there is the sterile tape (ok, so maybe I was familiar with this highly specialized product that can only be found just about everywhere on the planet except third world countries), wrist protectors, and custom jump ropes made out of kryptonite apparently because for the life of me, I cannot put together more than a couple of double unders, or dubs to those of us in the know.
You get the point.
That's all irrelevant though, as far as I am concerned. The most important thing about CrossFit, and that includes the WOD, is the gear. And the most important single item of gear is the shoe. Thus the star of this post. In the words of the famous Mars Blackmon, aka Spike Lee:
It's Gotta be the Shoes.
In the early 90s, Spike Lee featured in Air Jordan commercials as Mars Blackmon. If you are so inclined, there is information on Wikipedia about it and I have to assume, but can't be bothered to check, that the commercials can be found somewhere on YouTube. Those were the days that Nike commercials were actually worth paying attention to. There was Air Jordan, Barkley's it is not a tumor, I mean I am not a role model, and Lil Penny. Oh how I miss that little puppet version of Anfernee (I promise I spelled it right) Hardaway. He was Chris Rock hysterical.
Anyhow, the quality of any great outfit starts with the shoes. I have been crossfitting for 3 months, and before that took a 3 class introduction to CF called on ramp. It was actually supposed to be 6 classes but I missed half of them. Hey they were tough and I was tired of being in the sandbox with the toddlers. I wanted to play with the big boys.
During that time, I have worn 8 different pairs of shoes to a WOD. Some I wore once, like the Adidas with that shitty tongue that wouldn't stay up, and the NB running shoes that were more meant for walking slowly. And then there were the Nike Frees with the soles that trapped the jump rope. That was a lot of fun getting in 12 single jumps in 2 minutes because the cheap house ropes would get lodged in the grooves of the sole like a sour patch kid in the grooves of my wife's cavities (I don't have any so the analogy doesn't work with me, although I should have just lied about it).
Some I wore a handful of times, like the discontinued Brooks Green Silence, maybe the ugliest show ever created. It's claim to fame is that each pair is made of recycled water bottles, for all of you tree hugging hippies.
Barring all of those worthless shoes, up until early this week, I chose to rock (I think I am dating myself with that saying) one of the following:
Brooks Pure Cadence 2, Inov-8 f-lite 195s, and the purple Inov-8 f-230s. The Brooks have already fallen apart from the abuse, but because mentally they make me run faster, jump rope better and box jump more quickly, I still wear them. I also like the way they look so when I am in the mood for a black out (an all black stealthy looking outfit) I wear them. The Inov-8s are great. They are made to take abuse, are very light, and look cool enough to wear with a variety of outfits. Apparently they are designed in England, which means they are the fourth most important thing to come out of that country. First of course is the US of A. Second is the freaking US of A. Third is football. Yea, that's right I said it. Football. Awesome sport I plan on discussing at length in future posts (plural). And fourth, Inov-8. Even the spelling is cool.
Now I would like for you to turn back the clock to when I first started CF. No easy chore I know as it was three whole months ago. I said emphatically and under no uncertain terms, that I would not buy Reeboks. I hadn't owned a pair of Reeboks since the first Allen Iverson basketball sneaks from 1995. And prior to that I had some Michael Chang tennis pumps and a pair of 1993 Jim Courier tennis shoes that should never have been purchased. In case you were wondering, I am into sneakers a little. I think I have around 75 pair right now and that is after a recent spring cleaning.
But there is a white elephant in the room and I am just going to say it. Reebok sucks. Throughout my lifetime, Reebok has sucked so much so that it is only really known as the shoe of choice for the over 75 crowd seeking the plain white sneaker. I am not sure why the oldies buy them because they look horrendous. Funny story. Reebok sent me an email this week about bringing back the classics. First off, I still see them so I never thought they left. But more interestingly, they are now calling them classics. Those boaty, thick soled, hospital hallway white Reeboks are far from classics. Isn't that what they call things that sucked a long time ago and still suck now. Maybe since they found a hidden stash somewhere in Bangladesh, they figured they would pull out the classics moniker and try to sell them at full price. I wouldn't make my worst CF enemy wear them.
Which brings me to another minor detour. CF enemies you ask. I have a few and they don't know who they are. But when we WOD together, I do everything in my power to smoke them. I actually perform better when they are around. I don't normally pay attention to anything but the WOD, and accidentally counting incorrectly, but when they are around, I stalk them like prey. I make sure to go extra light so that my time is way better than theirs. But I am not competitive.
I digress. Where was I? Oh yea, Reeboks suck. Ask me again what I think of Reebok. Go on. Do it. Yes, they still suck. Always have and always wi...
Wait a minute. Reebok is actually onto something right now. They signed up (and paid handsomely) to be the title sponsors for the Reebok CrossFit Games. No one really knows what this means except that they, as part of this covert deal that was hashed out in the secret halls of Yale University, are the only manufacturer able to brand its shoes and clothes as CrossFit. Bingo. Reebok in one sneaky fell swoop became relevant again. Well, relevant to a small group of crazed lunatics who choose to kill themselves during every workout to the point of writhing on the floor in pain almost daily, not to mention the trips on the pukey train. But try it, it's a lot of fun (picture me, big exaggerated smile, with my thumb up in the air).
So lets go back a few months. As I said before, I am never going to own a pair of Reebok CF Nanos, the shoe of choice of Rich Froning (I have a Fromance and am not ashamed to admit it) and most other "famous" CF athletes. But I started looking around the box, and saw all these cool customized Nanos. First it was the people I looked up to at the box. You know, the ones who don't have to modify walking (it will make sense later). Then everyone was getting them, and I mean everyone. The box is a freaking fashion show every day and who am I not to participate. I like flashy shit as much as the next girl. Clearly customized Nanos were no right of passage for the good CF'ers. But now, how do I go back on my word. I was emphatic people. I will never buy Reeboks.
Turns out it was really easy and you can do it too.
Go to the Reebok website. Go to the men or women drop down box and select CF under shoes. Reebok has done a nice job of creating some rather outlandish color schemes for the Nano 2, but that isn't good enough for someone like me. I had to design my own. So for 3 hours on a Friday night, I designed the perfect shoe. Dark blue with orange accents - my favorite color combination. Add some grey to the mix and there they were. The most amazing Nanos ever created. Flashy, but refined. Bright, but not over the top. They even have my kids initials on them to remind me of them when I am suffering through a WOD. Not really, it just sounds cool. Some might even say the shoes were elegant. Ok, no one says that, but you get the point.
The shoes were designed, but not yet purchased. It wasn't too late to go back, click out of the web page, and go on with my life. No harm, no foul. No one would know what I did.
The next day I did a WOD. Afterwards I discussed said shoes with some friends. My wife was also there. What I did not know is bets were being placed on when I would order them. I think the over/under was 2 weeks.
Now I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting to find out if I ordered them and when. Did I order them even after my emphatic No. Buy. Reeboks. decree? Did I go against my word? Do I have no scruples?
Ah, how little even my friends know me. I am the poster child for instant gratification. Of course I bought them. Reebok outsmarted me. When I went back to the website that night, less than 10 hours after the WOD, those nice people at Reebok had remembered my shoes. I didn't even have to redesign them.
So there you have it. Custom Nanos that took 5 weeks to manufacture and ship arrived at my house on Monday and now I plan to show them off at 3 boxes in California before returning home to a heroes welcome. CF, it's all about the shoes.
PS - Please do not expect all posts to be the length of War and Peace, but I was on a 6 hour plane ride and there is only so much reading one can do.
